hn17.

my ass hurts. in fact, its not just my ass, but my whole body, back, thighs, knees. I feel like i spent all day doing squats and lifts and all sorts of exercises. no instead, i just rode 30 k on horseback. i didn't think that sitting on something as soft as a fuzzy horse could be so painful. but when the bastard starts trotting/galloping/whatever it is that you call it when they run, the spinal column of the horse smacks you right between the thighs, and after an hour and a half, you start to feel it. after three hours everything goes numb, until a little while later, you find yourself not being able to sit or stand or lie down. the worst part, is that I loved it, and I'm gonna do it again in two weeks. and maybe every two weeks after that. the experience was wonderful. not only did i get to experience where i live in a completely new manner, but I felt connected to the land. in a car, in the back of a pickup, even walking, the landscape seems foreign, unreachable. you feel as though you are moving through a hollywood backdrop, a world that has little to nothing to do with you. but mounted on a horse the size of a semi, it's different. the horse responds to the countours of the land, and you are forced to as well. luckily, on the return leg of the journey, muñeco, the horse, didn't have enough energy to run, so we took it slow, and the trip seemed completely different. it was almost as though i made a loop, rather than returning the same way i came. and although i couldn't sit last night to play uno, i could not be happier.

pictures are up.

hn16.

i walked almost ten kilometers today, in a lame attempt to hitchhike to my community from the nearby town. apparently people do not really drive around at 9 am on sunday here, they're all in church or on their way there, which means out of my community and not in. the walk started out easy, but as the incline increased, and i started climbing past 1200 meters, it got a little tough. im definitely out of shape, and am in desperate need of a daily workout. however, the walk did give me time to reflect, think, and ponder on how everything is going. i was thinking i may have jumped in too deep for my first two weeks as a volunteer, and maybe i should give myself some space from the work load. you know, ease myself in. and then i realized that i work best in such an environment, high activity, constant occupiededness (having trouble with synonyms lately) , and stress. i like it. and i like that i may have three projects happening at the same time within the first two months of service. i just have to make sure that they don't fail. and i guess that's my greatest fear. that no matter how little or how much i do, that wont end up mattering because the projects will not succeed. but i can't live like that, so for now, ill just keep on truckin, or whatever it is that i do.

hn15.

i watched a one armed man carry 50 kg sacks of cement today. i did too, but for me it was a struggle, and for him, it seemed just like any other task. he did it with a smile, and even cracked a joke about his disability. i couldn't believe it. you know, farmers here are tough, and not just ford tough, more like sherman tank tough. they work from 7 am to five, with a small lunch break, with little help from contracted workers. there are some, that will chop a whole field in one day, employing only a machete. i don't know if any of you have experience with this, but its not a walk in the park by a long shot. i've done it, and there is little fun to be had. in fact, if you look back about ten entries, you can find my complaints about the process. on a different note, i came to a realization today, that has been a long time in the making. hondurans are an exteremely diverse people, and not just culturally, but in their physical appearance. yeah, skin color varies significantly from a gringo white, to a dark shade of brown, with a small population of garifuna, black hondurans, in the north. but its not just in the skin that most of the physical diversity resides. its in the different mixtures that can be found. there are dark hondurans, with bright blue eyes, and light brown curly hair. there are white white white hondurans, whiter than me, that have all the other characteristics of a pure catracho. but that's where i make my mistake. there is no pure catracho, or at least, they all are. this country is just as much a nation of mutts as the states are, if not more. there is no shame here in mixed couples. its kind of nice, no?

hn14.

you know, its funny how the smallest things can try one's patience. and not to a small extent where you can just shake it off and move on, but full out final exam quality patience testing at its best. i had that experience today, and it was quite a challenge, but i think i survived. in fact, i'm better for it, because now, same time tomorrow i can resume my herculean task and keep on keeping on. seguir a delante. i spent over six hours today cutting out a stencil for my job, a stencil which will serve as the standard for 41 signs which will be placed around the community in certified farms for the upcoming inspection. yeah, i know i've written about the signs once already, maybe twice, but frankly, thats what my life is about right now, so deal with it. i now have an immense amount of respect for those people around the world that spend their days cutting out little letters with a little knife out of cardboard. where ever you are, you champions of miniature stencil letters, i salute you. three cheers, a low bow, and whatever else i can do. it sucks. whats worse, is that this is the first day, probably of three, that i will have to spend cutting out these fuckers. and even worse than that, is once i start painting, there's a chance that the size of the letters will be too small, and the paint will run, and the whole thing will get completely ruined. so, let's hope against hope, wish against wish, want against...oh whatever, you get it. cross your fingers. but back to my original point, about stress release. today i found mine. and you know, it didn't include beer, grass, or video games like in the states. simply put, i rode a horse. and for the first time, longer than for just five minutes and only around the cooperative. today i took that beast down to the nearby river. we trotted, cantered, and even almost galloped, but i got kinda frightened for my rear end, as it was being severely battered by the motions of the animal, so i took it down a notch. together we almost made it out of the community, but as we were about to cross the border with the next village, a truck went by, and the horse decided that it would be exciting to chase after it. at first i couldn't help but laugh, but i soon realized that i had lost control, so i pulled it aside and gave it a stern talking to. i think it got the point.

side note

i've been reading through some of my recent posts, and it seems that my english is suffering from the lack of practice. words get repeated, grammar falters, and frankly, the quality of writing is far from top-notch. well i'll tell you all this, don't judge me. most of it is train of thought, so quality is not the first thing on my mind. and, i figure that one day years from now, i can sit down, organize all of these entries along with those that i can't post, and maybe publish something. don't laugh, i'm serious.