i saw a dead guy today. not like sixth sense, "i see dead people" kind of dead guy, not casper the friendly ghost or anything like that. no, a real dead guy. i was on my way to santa rosa when my jalon slowed down. i took out my headphones, and stood up in the back of the pick-up to see what was going on. up ahead, a police barricade was slowly being erected, and a line of cars was quietly streaming by, with people hanging out of their windows curiously looking ahead. so i joined the masses in their quest for answers, and looked on with no idea of what was to come. as i watched the police officers tape off the area, i noticed up ahead, about 25 meters in front of me a pair of shoes, which i soon realized were connected to feet, legs, a torso, and a head. a person, lying in the road. blood was streaming from his head, and he lay there, uncovered, for the bulging eyes of the onlookers to gawk at. i had never seen a dead person before, and i looked on with a morbid curiosity. the saddest thing, and this is what really scares me, is that it had almost no effect on me. i don't know if it's years of action movies, or killing millions of nazis in video games, but this poor guy had absolutely no impact on me. i expected my stomach to turn, my heart to sink, at least my eyes to close on instinct, but nothing came. and my ride rolled by, the driver and other passengers with the same reaction as me. as we drove further, we found the cause of the accident. a bus was parked along the road with the man's bicycle crushed beneath the front tire. it seems that the dead guy, sorry dead guy but i don't even know your name, it seems he was riding in the middle of the lane in the morning, when the bus, coming from the opposite direction, decided to pass a car while in a curve and going uphill. a bad combination. as the bus reached the hills summit, the byciclist did the same, and the result was, well you already know. the worst part is, no one will probably be arrested or jailed for this. no one will act as a witness, testify, or even care. because, and here's the saddest part, life is worth very little here. people die in accidents, get killed by jealous boyfriends, get chopped up by machetes for absolutely nothing, and people just keep on going. they say, what a shame. but that's it.

oh and here's the kicker. in the time that i have lived here, at least three people have died on the same exact 50 foot stretch of highway. but no one even thinks to put up a no passing sign, paint some lines on the road, maybe fix the road, or really do anything about it to prevent it from happening again. the last guy was on a motorcycle and was left so unidentifiable, that they had to use the motorcycle's registration to figure out who it was. and for the same reason too. someone tried to pass without any visibility, and ended up taking the life of somebody's son, or husband, or father. to be honest, it scares the shit out of me, but the worst part is, that there is nothing to be done about it. you just gotta keep on moving, taking the same road because there are no others, and hope that you wont be in a car as a passenger when some asshole does the same thing. i add this not so that my parents worry, or my friends, or peace corps staff, but its just a reality all around honduras. there are no traffic laws that are really enforced, no signs, no lines on the highway. it's like russian roulette, with cars instead of bullets, and sometimes more than one person with the barrel pointed at their head.

there's more that i was going to write, things about life, work, the horse, and whatnot, but after having written what I just did, I need to clear my head and take some time to think. maybe seeing the dead guy did have some sort of impact on me that just stayed dormant until now. everything otherwise is good tho, and soon, just within a few weeks, i will be on american soil for 2 weeks, so get ready.