time to write

i think this is the first time that i have gone silent for over a month. i guess it has to do with my work, all the running around the country that i have been doing for peace corps business, but in the end it's mostly been my lack of initiative. my apathy. i just didnt feel the need to write. and to be honest, i still don't really feel like it. at most i think i can say the following:

every single day here is new and different. you think you know the situation, the people around you, the projects you are working on, and then one little thing can change all of that. it can throw you off your path, set you in a wild depression, make you smile, bruise you, and in the end, it all seems to matter very little. the scope is so much greater than any event, any occurence, any one person, that it's all the same. to me, it feels like the pressure has been lifted. because when you know that anything you stress about is miniscule compared to other things that millions of people have to deal with in the world, all you can do is smile, and hope that what you're doing may make a small difference for someone else. hopefully positive, of course. i know that this is pretty generic rubbish. most of it you have heard before. but hearing it and experiencing it is very different. saying you're a grain of sand is one thing, but seeing the rest of the sand box is a whole different matter. and the less you think about what you have to do, and the more you look around and feel it, the bigger the box seems.