hn35.

i think its about time for a new post. i haven't written for a number of reasons, none of which are truly worth exploring in depth. i've been busy, trying to get my vermiculture project off the ground, and we're finally making headway. by this time next month we should be swimming in fertilizer, which although may not sound appealing to you, to me is a dream come true.

i have also been getting to know capucas better with every day. i have spent a lot of time talking to locals, owners of small businesses, coffee producers, and it turns out that the community is much more than it seems on the surface. there is intrigue, lies, political sabotage, all sorts of interesting tele-novella stuff. it seems that what i thought i knew to be true about this quiet little coffee town, well was not anywhere close to the real thing. and the real thing, well its just so much deeper, more complex, with conflicts that go back years and years. the worst part is, that now i am even further in the dark because i dont even know who i can trust. one person will tell me one thing, and then someone will explain to me that that individual only looks out for their own interests, and i'm left thinking: will someone just please, tell me something that i dont need to dissect, and analyze for bullshit. cuz im tired of it. as i said, i want to swim in worm shit, not bull shit.

i have also been exploring a new project idea for a community high up in the mountains. its a small village of 35 families, with no running water or electricity, and they want both, and are supposedly willing to work for it. i havent been there yet, so its too early to get excited, but this may be my project for the next long while. it seems like doing something like this may actually have a significant impact on the lives of these people, and maybe ill actually feel like i did something real during peace corps. real in the sense that my work will not only provide a little change, but something big. i guess its a whole self glorifying aspect of peace corps, where you want to be remembered, but i don't think its a bad thing to have some selfish ideals when in the long run your work is doing something amazing for others. two birds with one stone you know.

on a number of other different notes: 1. MY CAMERA BROKE, so no pictures for a while. i am currently looking for a new one, so if you guys have suggestions, im open to anything. 2. for those of you interested in my horse, he's cool. ive been riding him long distance these past two weekends, and he's been keeping up. last weekend i rode to gracias, which is another department in honduras to see justin, a PAMer from the group before ours. this weekend i rode to corquin. i think now im going to slowly start adding kilometers to every trip, finally going to ocotepeque, and places that are 25-30 k away. i got him reshoed again this weekend, this time hopefully they'll stay on and wont break. it was amazing to watch the blacksmith work, but i already wrote about that, so...you can go back and relive that experience if you want.

i have been reading a lot, which currently may not be the best since the book completely destroys foreign aid and charity, and shows the dirty side of NGO's that work in international development. the road to hell, its called. check it out. however, it did make me see how Peace Corps actually rises above the problems that plague the system, and how there may still be a chance for us volunteers. read it, and then we can discuss. some parts of it are a little slow, but the overall message is haunting.

anyway, i think thats it. i have had a bunch of times when i though, man i should write this down, but now they have been overwritten in my memory, forgotten, and maybe one day sometime in the near future they'll come back to me and i can pass them on to you. until then, suffer in the monotony of my life. :)