thirteen.

so i can't sleep. i think i had my second malaria pill nightmare tonight, and it was crazy. while most of my friends here have deep troubling metaphorical imagery, i got shocked out of sleep and now can't bring myself to get back to it. in fact, its hard to describe, because what occured felt as though it was happening in a completely awakened state, which made it even more intense. i dreamt, or at least that's the only way to describe it, that an insect, kinda like a centipede but bigger, with less legs, and much larger frontal claw things, was crawling in my bed. what made me freak out even more, is when i awoke from that image, i saw the creature crawl under my pillow. so i dove out of bed, flicked on the lights, and proceeded to search every inch of my bed for remnants of said monstrocity. and guess what, well, of course, there was nothing there. except now, my skin is crawling with imaginary critters, and the only thing i can do is lie still and hope that my mind shuts off at one point. i hope its not like this for two years. i am definitely going to have to learn to control these phenomena, learn to react properly. cuz if i freak every time, i'll loose my sleep, my mind, and my usefulness as a volunteer. how can a person help their community if they can't even help themselves through a little sleep. hey, at least i'm in miami, in a sweet hotel, until the gov't decides to finally send us to honduras. here, i can tell myself it was all a dream. had this happened in the campo, i would spend all night hunting through my hut, knife in my teeth, flashlight in my hand, searching for the mysterious night monster. oh well, just thought i should share with you guys. i'll try to sleep for now, and if something else comes to me in my sleep, i'll share it too.