thirteen.

so i can't sleep. i think i had my second malaria pill nightmare tonight, and it was crazy. while most of my friends here have deep troubling metaphorical imagery, i got shocked out of sleep and now can't bring myself to get back to it. in fact, its hard to describe, because what occured felt as though it was happening in a completely awakened state, which made it even more intense. i dreamt, or at least that's the only way to describe it, that an insect, kinda like a centipede but bigger, with less legs, and much larger frontal claw things, was crawling in my bed. what made me freak out even more, is when i awoke from that image, i saw the creature crawl under my pillow. so i dove out of bed, flicked on the lights, and proceeded to search every inch of my bed for remnants of said monstrocity. and guess what, well, of course, there was nothing there. except now, my skin is crawling with imaginary critters, and the only thing i can do is lie still and hope that my mind shuts off at one point. i hope its not like this for two years. i am definitely going to have to learn to control these phenomena, learn to react properly. cuz if i freak every time, i'll loose my sleep, my mind, and my usefulness as a volunteer. how can a person help their community if they can't even help themselves through a little sleep. hey, at least i'm in miami, in a sweet hotel, until the gov't decides to finally send us to honduras. here, i can tell myself it was all a dream. had this happened in the campo, i would spend all night hunting through my hut, knife in my teeth, flashlight in my hand, searching for the mysterious night monster. oh well, just thought i should share with you guys. i'll try to sleep for now, and if something else comes to me in my sleep, i'll share it too.

twelve.

so, jewish luck strikes again. kind of. our plans today included a lay over in miami, which was supposed to be only an hour and a half, and is now turning into...well, an overnighter. however, this will give us an opportunity to get a hot shower, some american food, and a chance to call home and whatnot. i don't have my cellphone any longer, so i will try to make calls from a friend's cell, or the hotel's room phone. but it's all up in the air for now. it seems as though some higher power is trying to prevent our departure for honduras. regardless, it is only becoming more of a rediculous experience for all of us. many of the volunteers have been stricken by a misterious stomach related illness, and hopefully we won't all end up hospitalized, but anything is possible with our run of mala suerte. i guess one can look at it from a different perspective, but for now, with no sleep and aggravation in the eyes of everyone, I'll keep my optimism to myself. will write more when more is to be written.

eleven.

alright, for those of you who are actually reading this thing religiously, i have some bad news. i will be out of interwebs reach for possibly some time, and will try my best to write. however, on wed, i will be flying to honduras, and my schedule will include a lot of remote places and moving around. first, we will be in zarabanda, a rural community outside of tegucigalpa. then we will move in 1 week to a technical training site for PAM (protected areas management) site, which will be a 7 week experience. there, we will def not have internet, and i will attempt to travel to the nearest internet cafe once a week. but no promises. finally, at the end of september, we will be sent to our final sites, 60% of which have no electricity. basically, i may be out of reach for some time. i will be getting a cell phone on thurs, but i have no idea how it will work. so if i call you, count it luck, and if i dont, dont take it personally. anyway, otherwise there hasnt been much news. training has been the same as usual. if i have any crazy experiences, i will write them as soon as i can. until then. love.

p.s. my friend jessie made a video, of our training days. i dance in it. you may want to watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnnGN9tDKTg

ten.

Part 2.

Alright, well, due to technical difficulties, i wish to add to this entry prior to going to a cafe, as more has happened today, that should be written, discussed etc. this morning we went to a current volunteer's site, and spent the day with her. she is also an environmental project volunteer, although here, in DR, its not called Protected Areas Management. and she is a perfect example of a great volunteer. she is loved by her community, her host country counterpart, and she is very successful in the projects that she has undertaken. her work currently involves improving the cooking stoves, or fugones, of the community in which she lives. so far, a large proportion of the village of only 250 people have constructed and learned how to use the estufas mejoradas, or improved stoves, which greatly reduced the amount of smoke which the women have to breathe, as well as reducing cooking time, increasing quality, etc. basically, this project not only improves the quality of life, but reduces environmental and health impacts of daily activity. its amazing. she has managed to gain the trust of everyone in her community, working with the whole village to complete this difficult project. she even received monetary support from US organizations, friends, and family. and, now as she completes this stage of her service, she has already begun a nursery, and a latrine project. basically, she is the model to which we all should aspire. regardless, today was awesome. much of it was spent riding in a bus, which gave us some time to see the dominican countryside, which reflected greatly the current status of life in the campo here. the majority of people live in small poorly-constructed shacks, which provide adequate protection, however frequently collapse or fall into nearby ravines. but at the same time, people seem comfortable, which does not surprise me. as long as they're not starving, have their family close, and get a chance to drink a beer and play dominos, they're happy. maybe that's what life is all about.

Part 1.

So, three things have happened in the last 24 hours that are worth mentioning to you guys. First and foremost, our group of PCT's is going to Honduras. At first, the was some doubt regarding our situation, especially with the violence that occured in the capital when Mel Zelaya tried to return, but today Washington approved our departure on Tuesday. We are finally going to start our technical training, and soon, if all goes well, begin our service as Honduran PCV's. Of course, this will require some work on our parts, but I'm not worried. In fact, I think that we have an excellent batch of people. The majority of us are ecstatic about the news, and those that are currently suffering from malaise, depression, or disease, will probably be much happier once their conditions pass. I had my bout, a couple of days ago, and now, I am back to high spirits and high hopes. I feel awesome. Anyway, so that's news number one. Two. What was two again? Oh right, my family named a kitten after me. Yeah that's right. There's now a little Dima running around here, somewhere, squealing at the top of his lungs. He's adorable, and if you look at my web album, you should see the pictures of him with his little brother. The other one was given to my host aunt, who lives next door, but Dima belongs to my family, and as long as he's around, they may think of me once in a while. I think in fact that things are going wonderfully. I get along great with the "mom", my host sisters love me, and the little kids who run around here are in awe of us volunteers, so they're easy to please. My new friend here is Johandy, who is a brilliant hard working kid, who seems to get life pretty well. I hope one day he does something amazing, in fact I know he will, just with the right motivation and pressure. And since all of the children in the family are either done with, or working on, advanced degrees, I think he will be just fine. Maybe, I will have some impact on him as well, although I doubt it, since I'll only have been here for three weeks when I leave. But yeah, anyway, so kitten = Dima. More awesome. And finally, the third thing, is I finally did some manual labor. So there's this building being constructed in front of my "mom's" house, or well, in front isnt exactly the best explanation. Picture walking out of your door, and 6-10 feet in front of you, starts another building. Anyway, so the guys building it, dumped a bunch of dirt and trash in the space between the building and the house. Well, I, along with Johandy and Carlito, removed all the construction debris, dug out a lot of the dirt, and leveled the whole area, so now my "mom" has something that resembles a small patio. Maybe, the construction guys will be nice enough to pave the whole thing, and then it will be nice digs all around. What's funny about the whole thing, is that all of the trash we collected, was later dumped down the street, into a ravine with a small river below it. When I saw what was at the bottom, I almost cried, as it seems that the area has become a local garbage dump. But then, I realized, that the people of this part of Don Gregorio, have no other options. Noone comes to pick up their trash, and either they burn it in their yards, or they dump it down the street. What else can they do. Maybe, if they had a PCV living here, they could start some sort of trash collection, recycling program, but I doubt it would catch on here. Regardless, it still sucks. But, for now, I'm gonna let it go, and go back to reading George R.R. Martin. If you haven't read his Song of Ice and Fire series, check it out. Alright, for now that's it. Hope all is well with all of you. Write me.

update.

alright, so the whole photo thing is sorted out. i hope google doesnt one day decide to steal all of the materials of its users, and their souls, as i have now placed more of myself in their care. anyway, here it is, the link to my pictures on picasa. enjoy guys. i will upload when i have time.

picasaweb.google.com/dgersh

nine.

today has been a day of self discovery. well sort of. i guess today i realized that it is hard to change a man's behavior. i guess its different for all, some are more maleable, some believe that they can change but in reality remain exactly as they were. others pretend, for the sake of others, while internally they crave another existence. i guess in my case, i am somewhat trapped between descriptions, as my desire to question and speak conflicts with my need to stay silent. i was told, prior to my departure, to shut up. i was told a simple phrase, beloved by my grandfather, "words are silver, silence is gold". and i thought i had taken it to heart, i had learned his lesson. but in reality, it was a ruse i told myself. i didnt change, and today, that was brought to my attention with a cold hard smack to the face. and to be honest, it wasnt even that bad, nothing serious happened, but i guess it was made apparent to me that i talk too much. and now, im trapped. i can try to change my behavior, alter my questions, maybe even keep silent for months. but the impressions have been made, and many call me friend, but i still feel as though i have failed in my promises, to myself. i hoped to remain a stoic, silent, thoughtful individual. instead i remained myself. is it better this way? or should i have done something different? i guess its too late now. c'est la vie. asi es la vida. that's life. shit happens. etc. i guess, for some, my actions aren't bothersome, but even still, its hard for me to write this without feeling remorse over my lack of self control. anyway, i guess that's enough of self reflection. one day, in the next two years, i may read this entry and laugh. or not. regardless, it feels good to share this with you, my friends and family. i ask just this once, to stay your comments, and allow me to just vent. its not that i dont want to hear your thoughts. i write this one for myself as much as for you, but i don't desire your responses. now, im at a loss for words. i hoped to write some things about my day, about my experiences at the botanical garden, the market, class, but instead i think i will let you all see the photos once they are posted. i have been having trouble with facebook, and so will find another medium. i will check out picassa, google's photo thing tonight if i can, and if not, then something else. i will post a link as soon as i can. i hope all is well with all of you. i feel much better now, that this is written, and i can now enjoy my dinner here, maybe even the rest of the evening.

eight.

so while i sit here, trying to post some pictures to facebook for the thousandth time, i though i should write about this weekend´s events. yesterday was a day like many others, filled with reading, talking with the host fam, hanging out with volunteers and playing dominos. some beer was drank and arguments over god were had, which i can`t really describe in length as it kind of goes against peace corps policy. what i can say is that some people, due to their upbringing, beliefs, and limited knowledge of the world, refuse to accept the presense of other beliefs and ideas. however, at the same time, i must say that this is not a problem that persists throughout this wonderful country. in fact, i have spoken at length with my host mom about her religious beliefs, god, and spirituality, and we seem to agree on many ideas, except the whole bible thing. regardless, it is good to see that many people here are open to differences of opinion, unlike many others i have met in other parts of the world, ehhem russia...today, on the other hand, was much more exciting, as most of my day was spent in boca chica, a beach community near santo domingo. although not much sun was had throughout the day, and we actually got caught in some rain and thunder, the overall experience was refreshing. it has been hard these past few days being stuck in this city, where the options are few, and since we are not yet working, life tends to be pretty droll. at least for me, since i constantly feel the need to busy myself. but as i said before, i am slowly getting accustomed to the slow life, yes i just said slow two times, and hopefully by next week i will be comfortable doing little when there is little to do. however, as soon as work is available, i will commit myself fully. for now, dominos, presidente, and chatting are my job, and i do them well. hopefully i can learn to dance a little better, and then i should be a dominican in no time. i do however miss my friends, loved ones, family members. i wish you could all be here to share this with me. but i guess thats kind of part of the deal. im here, you guys are there, and i write this stupid little blog to pretend that i am talking to you all. i hope you guys are enjoying it, and if you have any advice, questions, anything, tell me, so i can make this thing better for all. til then, cheers.

seven.

so remember how i said that our internet would be intermittant from now on, well that situation is settled for good. lightning struck our communications tower two days ago at our training site. we were all sitting below it, on our little patio, when it hit, the sound like a plane crash mixed with a gunshot. it was nuts, but we all got away unscathed. so now, I have to use the local internet cafes, and since power outages occur daily, it is most unclear as to when posts will come. hopefully, every couple of days, but a whole week may pass between updates. i have posted pictures on my facebook, www.facebook.com-dgersh , where you can see some of the other volunteers, some sights, etc. i will try to id everything, but you guys know how my memory is. anyway, as for life here, everything is quite awesome. us PCTs have all become good friends, we often spend the evenings together, having a cold presidente and talking about our training, lives, etc. yesterday night was spent playing dominos in front of a colmado, talking to the locals, and enjoying the evening. i have grown accustomed to the slow life here. most people spend their days charlando, or chatting, sitting in their barrios, visiting neighbors. the women are often more occupied than men, always cleaning or cooking, while the guys, unless they´re employed, sit around and talk about everything from god´s influence on the weather, to politics, to michael jackson. yes, people still talk about him here. tomorrow i hope to go to the beach, si dios quiere. last night it rained like i´ve never seen before, and since i have an aluminum roof, i slept like a baby to the sounds of the rain. i dreamt for the first time here last night, a strange dream probably influenced by the malaria pills, in which i fought countless enemies in long hallways in some unknown building, using only the pocket knives i brought with me. disturbing, and yet somehow fun. don´t know if i would call it a nightmare, but as my friend john said, sounds like a good videogame. anyway, enough mindless chatter. i´ll leave you all for now. i hear there have been problems with the comment system, i hope that changes. if not, send me an email or facebook message, and ill see what i can do. ciao.

six.

written 07/07

so since I dont have internet regularly anymore, blogs will be posted intermittantly but written almsot daily, so if you care read ahead, and see what you have missed of my adventures. if life get's boring, ill write less, i promise. anyway, here' s last night's post.

Dominos. I never would have thought that I would spend hours playing dominos. But you know, that's exactly what I did today with the Dona of another voluntario. My day began with a small scare, as I thought that I may have bed bugs in my host family's house. However, after an extensive investigation, it seems that instead my problem is mosquitos that can bite through a mosquitera, or mosquito net. Apparently, since my mosquito net is smaller than my bed, my rolling around during the night is leading to direct contact with the mosquito net, which permits mosquitos to bite through the tiny holes. At least no bed bugs. Anyway, spanish classes went well, after which we recieved instruction on how to dance merengue, bachata, and how to play dominos. Apart from the dancing, I got hooked. Dominos is a game which seems quite simple, however the underlying strategy is as complex as poker. One can count fichas, or tiles, and even predict the movements of your opponents. At first I thought that I had a natural affinity for the game, as I won during our practice rounds at school, but once I played against a true dominican, I was shown the reality of the game. I lost almost every time, against moves that I didn't expect. And it was as if the dona knew what I had before she placed her tiles. But whatever, she'll lose sometime. And then I can laugh in her face and dance around. Not really, but in my mind I will. Anyway, the rest of the day was spent at a local bar, drinking Presidente, and talking about volunteer life, and gossiping. It seems that volunteers are like waiters. When you stick enough young people together and force them to interact, they'll talk mostly about each other when they separate into little groups. But what else can you do. When you spend all day with each other, what else can you talk about when you're drinking. However I am quickly realizing, that even though there are 50 of us here, I love almost everyone. Other than 1 or 2 people in the group, everything is very friendly, interesting, and overall good people. I am quickly realizing that it takes a specific type of person to join the Peace Corps, and it is exactly the type of person that I like to associate with. And although I miss my friends a lot, and by a lot, I mean a lot guys, don't think I've forgotten you, I'm glad that I am in a circle of people I can call my own. Now, I'm getting all nostalgic, so I'll end this post, but again, I hope all of you are well, and I wish I could share this experience with all of you.

five.

i danced merengue last night. it was amazing. well, maybe not exactly amazing, but definitely an experience. i went with my host sister desiree to a hotel bar, a strange location to dance, but a great place to learn. dancing with her friends, i slowly came to understand the basics of the dance, although i am far from mastery. other things came to light as well, cultural differences which were otherwise unknown to me. for example, when people dance together, they rarely look at each other, as that is a sign of pre-existing romantic interest and sexual attraction. people are also very open about they advances, which seems contradictory to the previous concept. regardless, i danced, spoke a little spanish, got laughed at a lot, and overall had a great time. during the day, i spent a lot of time reading, talking to our many family members, and walking with some of the other volunteers. actually funny story. the four of us were walking through an area of our barrio named manzana, and we stopped at a colmado, or general store, to have a drink. while sitting outside we were approached by a tattooed guy, who spoke some english. so i asked where he was from and this is the conversation that follows.

d- so where did you learn your english bro?

guy-i lived around nueva york when i was a kid

d- oh yeah, im from jersey!

guy-no shit, where at?

d- new brunswick!

guy-fuck man, i lived on redmond street all my childhood!

well, for those of you who don't know, i lived on redmond street for two years, and for me, the concept of meeting someone in a random colmado in santo domingo, who lived on the same street in new brunswick, is mind blowing. what's the probability of that? anyway, that's the funny story. if you dont think its funny, dont read my blog :).

four.

written Sat.

you know, its hard for me to write this without smiling. i have only felt as i have today a few times, less than fingers on my right hand (or left). i have never felt so welcomed by an unfamiliar culture, so loved by a foreign family, so...i dont know, it's hard to describe. i feel like many of my entries during the next three weeks will be like this. so where should i start. first, with the bad news. i am completely bitten by mosquitos, which shouldn't be too bad, since I am taking my malaria profilaxis. i'm not too worried about dengue, and neither should you all. its survivable, and once you have it, you can't get it again, as it is viral. although there are three strains, so technically, well i wont get into that. right now i am safely sheltered by my mosquito net, so i have no fear. outside, my host mom and sister are chatting furiously about topics unknown to me, and i have hidden away in my room to write this little entry. anyway, where was I. right, my family. well, my "mom" is as motherly as moms can be. she feeds me constantly, and if I can ever post my pictures, you can see exactly what i mean. she cooks all day long, either for me, or for the millions of others who come through the house. the dominican culture is one of compartir. or sharing. and nothing is just yours, everything is everyones. its wonderful. my "mom", and yes, i put mom in quotes because I do not want my own mother to feel replaced, which you could never be mamochka. but my "mom" is always busy, cooking, cleaning, peeling yuka, all sorts of things. my "papa" is a musician, who plays the saxophone and many other instruments when he isn't out fighting his cocks. today we spoke at length about his musical career, my language skills, life, the importance of health, silence, and even kandinski. yes thats right, kandinski. i also have countless nephews, one of whom, carlito, I have been spending much time with. at the age of thirteen, he's slowly becoming a man, but with the energy and desires of a child. i spent much of the evening playing frisbee, voleyball, and soccer with him, another volunteer by the name of heide, and other neighborhood children (ivan, juan carlos, a girl whos name i can't remember who is also part of my family, and many others. once the games began they just kept coming). actually, that's kind of an interesting story, as the location where we played today was an old gutted stadium church thing, which sits in the middle of the barrio. there, a guard stands watch all day with a shotgun (all guards here have mean looking shotguns), while children are allowed to play inside. its amazing that noone ever gets hurt. in the states such a building would be forbidden, but here, its a safe playground for all. i guess its better this way, as children seem to learn much about survival in places like this. anyway, moving on. i even passed some time with pucho, a man who's relationship to the family i still have yet to destinguish, but who lives next door, while he tended to his garden. he showed me his ornamental plants, which he sells around time, his avocado tree, his mango's, bananas, rabbits, chickens, everything. he even showed me how to properly, i don't even know how to call it, but create a new tree from a preexisting one. apparently, with many plants, a portion can be cut, planted in the soil, and later sprout roots. this is a well known concept, planting cuttings, but what i was shown today was completely new. it seems that if one is to remove bark from a branch of avocado, mango, or banana, wrap the skinned portion in some soil surrounded by plastic, the tree will sprout roots at the same spot. then, after 25 days, the portion can be cut, planted, and a new tree appears, as if by magic. i was stunned, and now i can't wait to plant my own. i even spent some time charlando, or talking, with the local youth about michael jackson, who's a big topic, rich people, and all sorts of silly topics. here people love to talk, about anything and everything. much of the day is spent with your friends, family, etc. talking. oh, and i even did a little construction, paving to be exact. not bad for a second day, huh? anyway, im tired now, and hope that i can write more tomorrow. im supposed to go to "papa's" concierto tomorrow at a local bar, so i should have some words about that. til then.

three.

i don't know where to begin so, how about I start with how I got into the house I'm living in now, in the middle of santo domingo's don grigorio district. we left miami at 3 am, and slowly found our way to the dominican republic via puerto rico. we arrived at a nunnery located in the presidential compound, where the dominican president was celebrating his son's graduation. but our true dominican experience did not begin here. although one story is kinda worth telling. so, we were given these malaria pills which are known to give people very lucid nightmares, and apparently they kick in the first night. or maybe it was just a coincedence. but I awoke around three in the morning screaming STOP, after which I demanded that my roommate hand me my knife from the dresser. when he asked me what the fuck I was actually talking about, I realized I had no recolection. regardless, the rest of the night was uneventful, and I awoke bright and early with no memory of the night's occurences. after a solid breakfast, we moved to our training site, run by a private contractor called entrena. here the true dominican culture began coming through. as we rode through town i glimpsed what its like living in the third world. not the dominican republic of punta cana, of white beaches, pot, and parties, but the vida diaria of normal people, trying to make a living, riding motorcycles, crowded cars called gua guas that fit 5 people in the backseat. everything was moving, alive. and the entrena compound is more or less in the middle of it, with craziness all around. there we met our language training staff, wonderful warm people who's only goal is to make us feel at home, comodo. the cook, an amazing woman who's name i can't recall, cooked us a beautiful lunch of chicken, rice and beans, maiz frito (this fried cornbread thing), salad, fresh papaya and pineapple. definitely not a third world meal, but still, authentic nonetheless. we were tested on our language skills, which led me to a discussion of muai thai and global warming. apparently the two topics are closely enough related that they can be disccussed in successive sentences. but the true joy of the day came when I finally met my host family. when we were introduced to our dona, in my case dona isabel, she hugged me and said "Hijo" - son, to which I could only reply MAMA. the whole crowd laughed as we walked towards the gate. we hopped a gua gua, where a large dominican girl starred at me after I said buenos tardes, apparently a come-on in this country, and quickly reached my dona's family "compound", a grouping of houses where resides a whole family. as we walked up, she spoke of her hermana's which live next door, her mama, who's 96, who lives 2 houses down. she took me in, as her own child. it was kind of startling. even though we had been explained the true nature of dominican hospitality, it was hard to accept. no one in the states ever welcomes any stranger like dona isabel did. she proceeded to introduce me to the rest of her extended family as well. all the nieto's, hijas, hermanos. more people than i could ever imagine could be part of one family. i became her seventh child. she cooked for me, a stewed beef dish with fried green plantains and a salad of avocado, tomato, and some tropical veggies i couldnt figure out. it was beautiful. we spent the rest of the evening chatting outside, talking about honduras and michael jackson, while a power outage wiped out all the lights in the barrio. apparently it happens all the time. i finished the night with a bucket shower, an experience all together new to me. but refreshing. it made me reconsider the whole shower concept. it seems that most duche's are done with a cuvetta in south america, so it will take some getting used to. i wish i could write something reflective, something philosophical, but i'm too overwhelmed by the whole experience. plus i'm sweating. at ten pm at night. in fact, its so hot, that even dona isabel complains about the temperature. but it doesnt matter. what matters is that i feel amazing. i'm totally ready for this.

two.

so it turns out, if you go to the beach, and don't wear sun block, even when it's cloudy, you get burned. did anyone know that? i wish you could all see my awesome tan lines tho, especially the underarm white spots. tomorrow we leave for DR or RD if youre spanish, and I do not know when I will write again, although apparently there's some sort of interwebs there. i'll be living with a host family so I will definitely have more to write about my life and experiences. for now, i feel that this may be kind of pointless, so I'll cut myself off for now, and wait until more interesting things happen. til then.

one.

so here I am in Miami. orientation starts in a few hours, and all I can think about now are all the people I left behind. I miss you all dearly, and hope that we shall laugh together again soon. to those of you that I got a chance to say goodbye to, i almost wish I hadn't, as I dont feel like any of it was enough. to those of you who didn't get a chance to confess all your love for me, or get back money I may have borrowed, or whatever, I will be back soon enough. you can all collect then. I will have regular access to this wild thing we all call the internet for the next three weeks, i expect, so I will be able to update this thing pretty regularly. as for when I'm actually in hoduras, as soon as this coup blows over, I will try to write at least once a week, but that will all depend on the availability of internet at my placement within the country. thank you all for coming and reading. perhaps, this will become interesting enough for all you people to stay and enjoy, and if not, I'll keep writing this shit anyway, and force my grandkids to read it when they're growing up. whatever, they wont understand anyway.